M Syndrome-Self Sabotaging

by

by Dr. Ginger Bratzel

 [SELF SABOTAGING M SYNDROME]

No sugar coating it. Crap is real right now.

Lots of changes…disasters, challenges or opportunities?  You decide

We are wired to conserve energy-survival. So that’s stay in the “content phase.’  Content feels nice.  Like comfy pjs on the coach watching Netflix.

But being content means you aren’t actively staying on your toes….you’re coasting.  And you can’t coast forever.

New Status Quo is a NO GO
  1. When we have those disasters, challenges or opportunities type of EVENTS, when we are depleted, we can fall into M syndrome.
MARTYR SYNDROME

We feel picked on and we frame our thoughts from that point like it’s out of our control.

We are a victim of the circumstances.  Some people try to out due each other who has it worse.

Social media is filled with people who feel out of control and they are feeding off others in that same situation.

Self-sabotaging behaviors

  1. And when someone has M syndrome, they are past focused.Let me tell you my story.

Everything that has gone wrong.  You need to understand.

BUT IN REALITY, THEY NEED TO LOOK AT THE PRESENT-

Only right now matters.
  1. What is the situation at this moment and instead of focusing on the big, to get momentum, it’s the quick wins that are right here?
  2. For instance, one struggling owner wanted to send $3000/SEO (that he didn’t have).  He needs fast wins.  His business will survive 6 months of this strategy.
  3. THEY LIVE IN THE “WE’VE ALWAYS DONE IT THAT WAY” WORLD.  But if you are in this circumstance you need the adapt and let go of the past and that old story.

Solution of getting out of the M syndrome is REFRAMING

Steps to Reframe
  1. So if it feels like a disaster or challenge- flip it into an opportunity.We are running these scenarios mentally right now.  No harm or foul.  And you aren’t putting yourself out there.  This is a mental simulation.
Our subconscious can’t tell what is real and what is perceived so whatever story you tell; it will believe it to be true.
  1. Looking at the present- focus on what did or has worked?Ignore your failures.  What small wins have you had?  Can we grow those or put lots of small wins together to make a bigger win?
  2. Find gratitude, no matter what, at this very moment.Avoid blame.
If you reframe, you can flip that M for martyr into a W for a win- even a small.

This is physics-  Newtons first law- what is in motion will stay in motion.  You just need to get the momentum going.